All Shit Evan

The next James Bond!

The next James Bond!

Growing up way too fast. Looking way too old for an almost 5 year old. Preschool graduation today….oh boy…

Growing up way too fast. Looking way too old for an almost 5 year old. Preschool graduation today….oh boy…

He put the bucket on his head and proudly proclaimed himself to be a lawn gnome hahah. He is a weirdo.

He put the bucket on his head and proudly proclaimed himself to be a lawn gnome hahah. He is a weirdo.

“She’s sexxxyy.”
— Evan to me about a lady in an underwear commercial. ugh.
“You were a real dick….in the butthole.”
— I should really watch the way I speak around him sometimes because he puts sentences together so appropriately with classy words like this…
DSS ON YOU!

Ev: You have to put that on first!

Marci: Or what?

Ev: OR DSS ON YOU! (points to me) And you'll have to make me dinner every night because mama will be on DSS.

“You have boobs too…and it’s awkward…”
— gee thanks Ev…
“1! 2!……….3! You are on time out!! You just sit right there and don’t move! You can drink your drink and eat the ice cubes. You can touch your phone if you need to make a phone call. But you cannot touch the keyboard or mouse! I MEAN IT! YOU ARE JUST A LITTLE GIRL!”
— Ev yelling at me and me trying to say I’m not a little girl while I’m sitting there with his pirate hat on……He is pretty fair with his punishments though, I will give him that much…
“See how it looks with my sunglasses on and my hood up? Ballin, right? BALLLIIINNNNNN!”
— I definitely did something right with this kid….
I'm clearly super uncool....

Marci: Did you know Auntie had a whole tumblr devoted to you? Pretty cool, huh?

Ev: It is NOT cool if she doesn't like the Beibs, OKAY WOMEN!?